Control: The Grand Illusion

by | blog | 4 comments

I’ve been thinking lately that at the root of almost every situation that I feel frustrated about is that word: Control.

More clearly stated: my reaction to having no control over most everything.

Yet I still seem to hold on to the magical thinking that says, I can control the weather, time, other people’s reactions, my niece’s grades, and as the picture says, my hair. I add my hair in there because until about 5 years ago, I actually did have control of my hair…as in I could get it to do most anything. However, since I’ve been on the Expat Planet all that has changed.

When I first arrived in France, it seemed I actually had control over my hairstyle, in fact, I changed it the first year. A couple of years in, I changed the style again and no matter how much time I spent on it, I was rarely satisfied with the results. I noticed that it seemed to be growing in opposite directions…rarely in the direction I wanted!

Determined to gain control, I tried a plethora of shampoos and styling products. Some worked, but only for a few days. It seemed I was losing the battle, and in essence, control over my hair.

Then I tried what I hadn’t tried before: spending a few moments to see where, in fact, my hair was going, as in I began styling it the way it was growing.

Et voila! The miracle of miracles, once again, attempting to understand the flow rather than fight for control over it yielded an amazing result: going with the flow can equal inner peace.

Now if you wonder why I’m going on about my hair, it’s because this experience actually runs parallel to my living on the Expat Planet.

Just as with my hair, in the beginning, I tried desperately to keep control of everything as I had done for 50 years.  This usually meant NOT being with life as it is in my new culture, rather how I wanted it to be.

Once I practiced observing before acting, I found living on the Expat Planet just a bit easier, dare I say peaceful.

As the French say, whichever way your hair is going is an indication of what’s going on inside your head. I’m just saying that sometimes the answer lies in GIVING UP control…which might just take you where you need/want to be! 

Let us know your thoughts and experiences with Control in the Comments section below.

4 Comments

  1. Lady Cerridwen

    Love the theme of out of control hair. I am finding that when I surrender to what truly is instead of what or how I want something to Be has helped me to release control. Earlier today I was fearful of driving in the pouring rain to an important therapy appointment. I took a few deep breaths and talked to my Self. I left a little early to allow for slower traffic. Ok you can do this and I did.!! I got back home safe and sound after a great hand therapy treatment.

    Reply
    • Concetta Antonelli

      Brava Lady Cerridwen for taking a moment to pause to listen to that fear and find out how you could work with it, rather than ‘control’ it. Sounds like you found a way to implement some measures, like leaving early, that actually gave you more control over your experience and have the pleasure (relief perhaps?) of the hand therapy. I continue to be surprised and delighted when the simple act of listening to my inner voice & asking my Higher Self for answers can bring me back into the flow. Thanks for sharing with us!

      Namaste,
      Concetta

      Reply
  2. Kathryn Crystal

    This morning I was going to skip my yoga session as my home was being cleaned; I always do it inside. Guess what? I took my mat outside on the deck over looking the Caribbean Sea and had a delightful, inspiring session. Needless to say, I’ll be doing more sessions outside, weather permitting. My higher self was talking to me, and I finally listened!

    Reply
    • Concetta Antonelli

      Brava Kathryn! Thanks for sharing your experience with us. Sometimes it’s those interruptions to our routines that lead us to some delightful surprises that we might not have found otherwise. Great way to listen to your Higher Self and enjoy yoga on the deck. I can hear the ocean waves from here!

      Namaste,
      Concetta

      Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Every Monday you’ll get a personalized "Note from Your Higher Self. "Every Tuesday you'll receive our latest updates to our podcast and blog and at month's end a digest of the posts. We’ll share a dose of what we’re reading, learning, and collaborating on to help you continue to Elevate to a Higher Level.

Unsubscribe anytime. We will never sell or share your personal data.

Get Our Free Guided Meditation and Journal

Harness the power of your intuitive guidance with a 21-day journal and guided meditation with music composed in a deep meditative state so that you can enter that same state quickly too. 

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Subscribe To Notes From Your Higher

Short, weekly thought-provoking prompts delivered to your Inbox every Monday designed to help you form new mindful habits quickly and easily for incremental change.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Subscribe To Our Weekly Digest

Get our free weekly email. Every Sunday you’ll get one of our Notes from Your Higher Self and a digest of the latest updates to our Podcast and Blog.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Subscribe To Our Weekly Digest

Get our free weekly email. Every Sunday you’ll get one of our Notes from Your Higher Self and a digest of the latest updates to our Podcast and Blog.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This